


Discovery

by Chaos_Valkyrie



Series: Agent O [8]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Angst, Discoveries, Enemies to Friends, Exploding Vacuums, Fluff and Angst, Frenemies, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 22:32:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6677971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_Valkyrie/pseuds/Chaos_Valkyrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a mid-September when Stage One of Operation “Shit Hitting the Fan” began.</p>
<p>Heinz must’ve missed one hell of cosmic memo, because he had thought, over the last eleven months, that the universe was done fucking with him.</p>
<p>Apparently, it had just been lying in wait, plotting against him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Now. This also has more cursing in it than the others… because that’s what happens when I return to snark, my dominate personality disorder.

It was a mid-September when Stage One of Operation “Shit Hitting the Fan” began.

Heinz must’ve missed one hell of cosmic memo, because he had thought, over the last eleven months, that the universe was done fucking with him.

Apparently, it had just been lying in wait, plotting against him.

*****

If there was one thing the boys talked about more than their inventions, it was Uncle Perry.

Uncle Perry was a cousin of their father. Heinz didn’t know much about him, actually, only bits and pieces he gleaned from when the boys were enthusing to their friends. 

“Uncle Perry, he doesn’t do much. We think he’s a pharmacist or something.”

“Uncle P helped us build rockets at his apartment last weekend!”

“Uncle Perry loves animals! We don’t know why he doesn’t have any pets.”

Occasionally the boys went over and spent the night at their Uncle’s place. Heinz spent that time catching up with Candace and sometimes Stacy. He’d watch chick flicks with them and they almost always gave him ice cream if Linda wasn’t home.

He did draw the line at playing dress up. He may be a pet now, but he had to keep some of his dignity.

Here he also gleaned info about this mysterious uncle, usually in the form of much more entertaining gossip.

“Mom’s trying to set Uncle Perry up with someone she met at the shop. She thinks he doesn’t get out enough.”

“He says he’s not lonely. He has a friend that comes over all the time!”

“Mom thinks he might have a crush on his friend, from the way he talks about him.”

Heinz didn’t really care. He’d meet the man at the fast-approaching holidays, he was sure. Until then, he’d just enjoy spending time with his family, thwarting Doctor B, and occasionally tinkering around with new inventions in his underground lair.

Life was fantastic.

*****

Heinz was tinkering with some new Hat modifications when his wrist communicator buzzed. He rolled his eyes even as he walked over to the MMM – this was technically his day off. Doctor B had been thwarted yesterday, and once school let out today, the boys were off to their uncle’s, while Candace was over to Stacy’s for the night.

“Agent O. Our intel shows that Doctor B has just received an order of a lot of seemingly useless radio parts. And, there are reports of a minor explosion from his apartment. Go check it out.”

Heinz saluted, then bolted from his chair. Explosion? His heart rate hiked as he grabbed his jet pack and shot out of his lair. But he shouldn’t have a new –inator until next week…

He landed on Doctor B’s balcony in record time. He flung the French doors open, only half-expecting a trap…

…to find Doctor B dressed in jeans and an orange t-shirt, smiling at him sheepishly over the gutted vacuum cleaner on the floor.

‘Sorry. I’m expecting… guests,’ the man signed apologetically. ‘I needed to clean in a hurry, so I upgraded the vacuum…’

‘And it exploded,’ Heinz signed and chirped in amusement. 

Doctor B shrugged with a boyish grin. ‘Seemed like a good idea at the time?!’

Heinz rolled his eyes, then shoved the Doctor out of the way, ignoring his protests. He’d been cannibalizing vacuum cleaners since forever…

A few quick twists with the screwdriver in all the right places, and the vacuum blared back into life. Heinz shut it off quickly, only to look up and meet Doctor B’s amazed stare.

‘Not my first exploded vacuum,’ Heinz signed with a shrug.

‘Is there anything you can’t do?’ Doctor B asked with a bemused smile.

‘Shadow-puppets.’ Heinz signed, expression as deadpan as he could make it, wiggling his fore-toes.

Doctor B chuffed a laugh. Heinz, meanwhile, glanced about the somewhat cluttered apartment, tilting his head at the Doctor.

‘Need a hand?’ he signed, gesturing around at the chaos around them.

Doctor B rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. ‘Yeeesss,’ he reluctantly signed, and Heinz rolled his eyes in return.

‘Alright,’ Heinz signed, then rolled up imaginary shirt-sleeves to the Doctor’s amusement, ‘Where do you want me to start?’

*****

Two-and-a-half hours later, and Heinz wished this had, indeed, been a simple thwarting.

He had helped Doctor B scrub and vacuum and wash down practically every surface of the penthouse. Granted, the Doctor took all of the nastier and/or more difficult jobs, but really, this was probably more than a one-man-one-ocelot job.

It was 3:30 pm, and the two were finally finished, sprawled out on the couch and groaning in post-cleaning-frenzy-agony.

‘If I get summoned this same time, next week, I’m conveniently spraining something,’ Heinz moaned, and Doctor B chuffed a laugh.

‘I think I’ll join you,’ he parried, and it was Heinz’s turn to let out a brief, squeaky laugh.

‘I’ll hold you to that,’ he countered. 

The two sat there in comfortable silence until Doctor B’s phone and door buzzer sounded off simultaneously.

Doctor B leapt to his feet, shooting off a quick text even as he marched over to the door to buzz in whoever it was at street level.

He turned back to Heinz, looking incredibly apologetic. 

‘I hate to kick you out like this, but they know I don’t have… pets,’ he substituted, and Heinz didn’t feel insulted. He understood.

‘Its okay,’ he signed with a smile, and waved goodbye as he let himself out onto the balcony. 

A deep churring sound made him turn before he shut the door. ‘And Agent O... thanks,’ Doctor B signed with a smile, before turning towards his now buzzing doorbell.

Heinz grinned to himself, ducking out of sight before strapping his jetpack back on.

“Uncle Perry!” came a familiar yell from within, and Heinz’s eyes widened in disbelief.

He knew that voice oh-too-well.

Heinz peeked around the corner, making triply sure to stay out of sight.

Phineas and Ferb were hugging Doctor B, as the man himself signed a goodbye to Lawrence Fletcher.

“Wow, its nice to be back in your evil laboratory,” Phineas teased, looking around at all the equipment innocently.

Doctor B – or, apparently, the even more infamous Uncle Perry – shrugged sheepishly, smiling widely at his sort-of-nephews.

‘It’s good to have you both back. I got those parts in we ordered,’ he signed, and the boys both grinned.

“Sweet! This will be the best weekend ever!” Phineas cheered, towing his uncle and brother over to the waiting boxes.

Heinz wilted. He scrambled his jetpack, and managed to fly back to his lair under the house in one piece. There he discarded his gear, curled up in a ball under a table, and quietly freaked out.

He was so fucked right now.

Heinz loved his kids. They loved him. He finally had a family again – something he treasured and had completely done without for almost fifteen years since Otto died.

Regulations demanded that he immediately turn this information over to HQ – host families could not be closely related to any nemeses in any way – it was a total conflict of interests on the lowest level.

The only solution was that Heinz be reassigned, effective immediately, to a new host family.

Heinz narrowed his eyes, and point-blank refused.

He could do this. He loved those kids too much, and he absolutely refused to give them up so easily. 

He could do this. He could keep the two not-so-separate halves of his life just that – separate. It would take every ounce of his training, but he would win this.

He had to. Now that he risked losing absolutely everything he’d ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Get the tissues ready for Sunday... bumpy roads ahead.


End file.
